Flying the Friendly Skies

Several years ago we went to Arizona to visit my in-laws. They live in a painfully large retirement community called Suncity West, where everything closes at 8:00 pm and no one can seem to see over their steering wheel.

On the plane ride there I had an altercation with another passenger. You see, our seats were arranged so that Ben, Max and I were together and Mike had the aisle seat in front of us. This was completely useless to me, since there was no real way for him to help me occupy the kids (they were 5 at the time) in that position. The aisle seat across from us was the key to my existence on this five and a half hour trip. I noticed that there was a single, older woman sitting in that strategically crucial seat and I quickly asked if she would switch with my husband. She simply responded, "no". I went on to explain our situation to her in hopes of getting some sympathy, and she still ended with a resounding, "no". Deperately trying to understand, I asked for a reason. Afterall, it was the exact same aisle seat situated diagonally from hers. She explained that she didn't want to sit in front of my kids and would rather sit across the aisle from them. What a dumb, freaking answer!I became extremely flustered and turned to my son, Ben, who was in the aisle seat across from hers and told him that if he felt nauseated during the flight to be sure to vomit on her. He agreed he would (he's such a good boy). She didn't like that one bit which made me very happy. I then proceeded to tell every family that walked on the plane that she was a troublemaker that had no interest in helping out people with children and they should avoid her like the plague. Mike had moved his seat to the back of the plane at this point, but what fun I had! I know my people skills weren't setting a good example for my kids, but that never stopped me before.

Needless to say it was a long flight, particularly having her glare at me the entire time. I took comfort in the fact that 8pm was lights-out time in Suncity West. It would give me plenty of time to rest up for the flight home.