Teapots

My mother-in-law has a friend who collects teapots. Whenever we go to Arizona to visit, the "teapot lady" stops by to see the kids and chat with us. This was always very unoffending, until one visit when she insisted I come to her house and have some tea. This was at least 2 or 3 years ago when I was drinking coffee intravenously, and telling waitresses at diners to keep filling my cup until I start to twitch. While I may have switched to green tea 2 weeks ago in a lame attempt to fend off death, the civility associated with tea drinking never did and still doesn't appeal to me. Unfortunately, with all eyes on me, I felt compelled to accept her invitation.

The next day we all went over to her home. I made Mike and the kids come for moral support. Upon entering, I was horrified to see that she had built plexiglass cases all over the place to house her precious teapots. She even had me select my own teapot to make tea brewing extra special for me. Super! And so it went, I sat with her sipping my tea and eating some God forsaken soy cheese that accompanied it, all along trying not to grimace in disgust. The charade was half way over, when she decided to ask Mike (who was playing in her backyard with the kids) if he would like some tea as well. I listened in horror as he replied, "no thanks, I'll just drink Karen's, because she hates tea". Boy, that creep got a huge thrill blowing my cover! She shot me a look, and I remember grinning nervously and muttering something about how silly Mike was.

When the episode finally ended, I made sure to comment that Mike's sister was visiting next week and would love to have the same tea experience as I had. What a load of crap! Why should I be the only family member tortured by this nut?