The Lunch Ladies

My son, Ben, has problems with the lunch ladies in his school. I don't mean the women that cook and serve the food, but the actual lunch room monitors. Last year, he was upset to find that he had the "mean" lunch ladies assigned to his lunchtime and hearing his tribulations became a weekly, if not daily occurrence. This year he was thrilled to see he had the so-called "nice" lunch ladies. However, about 1 month into the school year he came home with the revelation that they have changed drastically and are now classified in the "mean category" as well.

Ben's a really nice boy who loves rules (especially if their his) and believes in the fair treatment of people and animals alike. When he sees something that he considers unfair, he has to get involved until he (and everyone else) is blue in the face or passed out from exhaustion. Apparently, lunch ladies in general believe in "company punishment". A term my dad uses for their behavior and even goes onto say that the military has out-lawed this type of discipline. You see, if several students in a class are acting up at lunch, then the entire class is restricted from going outside for recess. Fair? Not at all, but it can't be easy dealing with the multitude of kids they do on a daily basis. Unfortunately, Ben finds this incomprehensible. He has even gone so far as to trick a lunch lady into telling him her address so he could give it to his regular babysitter, Jon. He then proceeded to ask him to "handle her", whatever that means. (Yes, I do sleep with one eye open every night). Luckily, Jon is afraid of lunch ladies also and stayed out of the situation. I shutter (and sort of rejoice) in thinking that my son is the "Norma Rae" of the lunchroom, standing on a table with a sign that says "strike".

My friend Andrew tried to calm Ben one day by saying he should consider their side of it. After all, no one grows up aspiring to be a lunch lady. Perhaps, they are somewhat bitter. Ben took no comfort in this. And so, the saga continues - probably in the principal's office.