Loud-Talking vs.Yelling

When Ben and Max were about 4 years old, I decided to have an important talk with them. They were beginning to complain that I yelled at them a lot, so it was time to set the record straight. I explained that I was really a loud-talker, not a yeller.

You see, when you're a parent it's often necessary to repeat yourself an infinite amount of times before a child hears you, let alone responds to you. Personally, I tend to get louder and louder with each repetition. This doesn't mean I'm angry, I just have a deep desire to be acknowledged, as do most living things. It's a perfect example of loud-talking. Other times, I'm just trying to make a point. In that case, I might amplify my tone until everyone appears to get it (usually when their ears start bleeding). This is loud-talking, of course. On the other hand, yelling is a tool I implement when the boys are wrecking my home, arguing with me, or behaving in any number of inappropriate ways. Yelling and threatening generally go hand and hand, unlike loud-talking which requires very few threats. Honestly, I think the differences are crystal clear.

By the end of our discussion, Ben and Max really seemed to understand that I wasn't a yeller as they had thought, but rather a kindly, loud-talker. On many occasions since then, I have heard them say to each other, "Stop loud-talking at me!" Evidence of yet another parenting feather in my cap. Luckily, a close friend of mine is a therapist. I intend to ask her to do pro-bono sessions with my kids when they're older to correct all the damage I've done.