Poop-Flinging

We love our house except for the view of the slovenly woman who lives on the hill behind us. When we first moved in 15 years ago, there was an old fence that hid her home. Early on, after a bad winter, the fence fell down and was never replaced. It has been the bain of our existence ever since.

Much to our chagrin, the woman's husband actually dropped dead of a heart attack while rebuilding part of the fence (not our part). In a moment of compassion, Mike had offered to split the cost of the fence with her, but she said it wasn't a priority. He then suggested she blame it on the 4 winter storms we had, but she said it was against her religion to lie (huh?). After all of this, she had the nerve to complain that some of our lawn clippings were landing in a remote corner of her yard (by accident at that time, I assure you). Mike's response was "build a fence". Since then, the gloves have come off. She has ridiculous statues that border our property, that have "mysteriously" tipped over during the summer months. Mike has blasted horrendous, profanity-ridden rap music (borrowed from a friend) outside while prancing in his underwear when he saw her entertaining company. However, our friends all time favorite story is referred to as "poop-flinging". While cleaning our backyard of dog poop before a party, Mike used old barbeque tongs to fling it up the hill into our neighbor's yard. The funny thing is, she never even noticed because her yard is such a disaster.

I realize all of this sounds a little mean. But we really tried to work with her so all parties would be satisfied. If she's so religious, shouldn't she love thy neighbor or something? Besides, dog poop makes great fertilizer, from what I understand. Or, she could simply build a fence.