Confrontation

I've never been afraid of a good, old fashioned confrontation. I think they're healthy and cleansing. Don't get me wrong, I don't ever believe in violence. I am, however, a huge proponent of tongue-lashings.

Even as a child, I never feared confrontations. I remember I was in trouble for something, and my Dad came in to spank me. I think I got spanked a total of 3 times as a child. They couldn't have been very hard, because they have left no impression on me. I pulled my pants down and pointed my heinie at my Dad and said something like, "Fine, go ahead and spank me. I don't even care". On that note, my Dad cracked up laughing and never did execute the punishment (discipline wasn't his forte).

One time, I was at the drive-thru of Burger King getting food for my kids (I don't eat that crap). Naturally, as the cars on line moved up, so did I. At one point, I realized that my car was blocking another car from exiting. The woman started screaming irately. I apologized for the inconvenience, and assured her that I would move up momentarily. From her car, she continued to yell and call me an idiot. I went on to say, that truly this wasn't such a big deal and she should try to calm down. She kept ranting and cursing. Finally, I had taken enough abuse. I yelled to her, "I may be stupid, but at least I'm not a fat lunatic that eats at Burger King! I'm buying this crap for my kids!" At that moment I was able to move up in line and she was left speechless with nothing left to do but speed off. For some reason (probably a character flaw), I am proud of that moment.

Confrontation is an art form. It requires quick-thinking and wit. To this day, if my husband ever has a real problem with someone, he threatens to sic me on them. Most cower in fear at the mere thought of being verbally assaulted by a Jewish housewife, others choose to meet their maker. So be it.